Why You Feel More Anxious and Tired Right Before the Holidays (And How to Cope Gently)

If you’re feeling more anxious, emotionally drained, or unusually tired as the holidays approach, you’re not imagining it.
And you’re not failing at “handling the season well.”

For many people, the weeks leading up to the holidays bring a quiet but heavy emotional load. Even before family gatherings, travel plans, or gift shopping begin, anxiety often starts to rise. Sleep feels less restorative. Motivation dips. Thoughts about the past year and the future become louder.

This kind of end of year anxiety is extremely common. Yet it’s rarely talked about honestly.

Let’s look at why anxiety and exhaustion peak right before the holidays, what’s actually happening in your mind and body, and how to cope in a gentle, supportive way that doesn’t require forcing positivity or productivity.

End of Year Anxiety Is More Than Just Holiday Stress

When people think about holiday stress, they usually imagine packed schedules, family tension, or financial pressure. While those things matter, they’re often not the main cause of anxiety in mid December.

End of year anxiety tends to come from emotional accumulation rather than single events.

By this point in the year, your nervous system has been responding to stress for months. Deadlines, responsibilities, personal challenges, uncertainty, and constant decision making quietly pile up. Even if nothing dramatic happened, your system has been working hard just to keep going.

December becomes the moment when there’s no longer enough energy left to push those feelings aside.

Instead of seeing anxiety as a weakness, it helps to understand it as a signal. Your mind and body are responding to prolonged demand, unresolved emotion, and increased expectation.

That response makes sense.

The Hidden Reasons Anxiety and Exhaustion Peak in December

Unfinished Goals and Mental Carryover

Our brains are wired to track incomplete tasks and unresolved goals. Psychologists sometimes refer to this as open loops. As the year comes to an end, many people subconsciously review what didn’t happen.

Thoughts like these start to surface:

I should have done more
I’m behind compared to others
This year didn’t go the way I planned

Even if you don’t actively think these thoughts, they create background mental noise. That noise fuels anxiety and makes it harder to rest.

From a CBT perspective, these thoughts often turn into harsh internal rules. Rules like “I wasted time” or “I failed to improve enough.” When those rules go unchallenged, they increase emotional pressure and self criticism.

Social and Emotional Expectations

December carries a strong emotional script. You’re expected to feel grateful, connected, joyful, reflective, and hopeful all at once.

That’s a lot to ask of any human nervous system.

If your actual experience doesn’t match the expectation, anxiety often follows. You may start questioning yourself instead of the expectation.

Why don’t I feel happier
Why am I still stressed
Why do I feel disconnected

Suppressing uncomfortable emotions to appear cheerful takes effort. Emotional masking is exhausting, even when it’s subtle. Over time, it increases anxiety and emotional fatigue rather than reducing it.

Nervous System Fatigue

Stress is not just mental. It’s physiological.

When stress is ongoing, your nervous system stays in a heightened state of alert. Cortisol remains elevated. Muscles stay tense. Breathing becomes shallow. Over time, the body becomes less resilient.

By December, many people are simply running on lower capacity.

This is why small things feel overwhelming. It’s not that you suddenly became fragile. It’s that your system is tired.

Anxiety increases when the body doesn’t feel safe enough to rest.

Why You Might Feel Tired Even When You’re Not Doing More

One of the most confusing parts of end of year anxiety is the exhaustion that comes with it. You might not be working longer hours. You might even be slowing down. Yet you feel more tired than usual.

That’s because mental fatigue is not the same as physical activity.

Mental exhaustion comes from:

Constant decision making
Emotional regulation
Anticipating future stress
Monitoring yourself socially
Trying to stay functional while overwhelmed

Even resting can feel effortful when anxiety is present. Your mind doesn’t switch off easily, so your body never fully recovers.

This kind of fatigue is not laziness. It’s a normal response to prolonged emotional load.

How End of Year Anxiety Often Shows Up

End of year anxiety doesn’t always look like panic or racing thoughts. Sometimes it’s quieter and harder to recognize.

You might notice:

Feeling numb or emotionally flat
Increased irritability or sensitivity
Overthinking the future
Trouble enjoying downtime
Difficulty falling or staying asleep
A sense of being “on edge” without a clear reason

These experiences don’t mean something is wrong with you. They’re signs that your nervous system is overstimulated and asking for relief.

Gentle Ways to Cope With End of Year Anxiety

Coping with anxiety in December doesn’t require fixing yourself or pushing harder. It often means lowering pressure and responding with care.

Here are some gentle approaches that support both mental health and nervous system regulation.

Lower the Emotional Bar, Not Just the Task List

Many people reduce their workload in December but keep their emotional expectations high. They still expect themselves to feel calm, grateful, motivated, and optimistic.

That’s often where the anxiety comes from.

A simple CBT based reframe can help:

Instead of asking
What should I be doing

Try asking
What would be enough for today

Enough might mean showing up imperfectly. Enough might mean resting without earning it. Enough might mean letting something be unfinished.

Reducing emotional pressure often brings more relief than reducing tasks.

Create Closure Instead of Goals

When anxiety is high, goal setting can feel overwhelming. Your brain may interpret future planning as another demand.

Instead of focusing on goals, focus on closure.

Try this gentle reflection:

One thing from this year you’re ready to let go of
One thing that supported you when things were hard
One thing you did that deserves acknowledgment

This type of reflection reduces cognitive load. It helps your brain complete loops rather than open new ones.

Regulate Before You Reflect

When anxiety is active, reflection can turn into rumination. The nervous system needs to feel calmer before insight becomes helpful.

Try regulating first:

Slow your breathing by extending your exhale
Place your feet on the ground and notice physical sensations
Do a brief body scan without trying to change anything

Once your body settles, your thoughts are less likely to spiral.

This sequence matters. Calm first. Insight second.

Give Yourself Permission to Feel Neutral

Not every season has to be joyful or meaningful.

Sometimes feeling neutral is enough.

Letting go of the need to feel a certain way reduces internal conflict. That reduction alone can lower anxiety.

You don’t owe the holidays a performance.

What Often Makes End of Year Anxiety Worse

When anxiety shows up, well meaning advice can sometimes intensify it. Here are a few common responses that tend to backfire.

Forcing positivity when you don’t feel it
Overplanning January as a way to escape discomfort
Comparing your year to others
Treating rest as something to earn

These strategies may feel productive, but they often reinforce the idea that your current state is unacceptable. That belief fuels anxiety.

Relief comes from acceptance, not pressure.

You’re Not Broken. You’re Reaching the End of a Long Year

If you feel more anxious or tired right now, it doesn’t mean you’re weak or ungrateful. It means your system has been carrying a lot.

End of year anxiety is a natural response to accumulated stress, emotional expectation, and nervous system fatigue. The answer isn’t to push harder or fix yourself before January.

The answer is gentleness.

Giving yourself permission to slow down, feel honestly, and lower emotional demands is not avoidance. It’s care.

And care is what allows anxiety to soften, not control.

If anxiety feels loud late at night or hard to explain to others, having a calm, private space to process your thoughts can help. Aitherapy is available whenever you need support without pressure, judgment, or expectations.